Well, this is kind of question I love asking everyone. Let me try and make sense of my story.
I was born and lived in Russia, Moscow for 23 years. To be precise I was born in 1985 which is another 6 years before USSR is no longer a country. It will be transformed into Russian Federation when I am 6 years old.
The power switch was not an easy routine, it was violent and scary like any other changes in Russia (and everywhere in the world). Tanks outside Moscow White House was a pretty persuasive sign of the end of the current regime. Interestingly, Russia has gone through so many revolutions, wars,violence and pain and still take any change really hard.
Russia is also SO massive it also wants to be the most powerful country in the world; however maintaining shit economy and keep stealing from each other within the country. A highly corrupted mentality is what Russian Federation is fed on.
However I am not going to go into politics, it is just not my cup of tea. I am leaving Russia comment free today 🙂 (although it is always very difficult lol). Although Russia always wants to be the fastest, the highest, the biggest and most powerful the ordinary suburban kids are often stuck with drugs, booze and the only ultimate dream is to have children as soon as possible. Note: my personal opinion only.
Russia has given birth to some amazing sport people….
And yet when I was going to the gym back in Moscow believe me or not I took back streets so in the darkness of the late autumn or winter my friends won’t see me going to work out or coming back home from my training. As you can probably imagine I did not last long and gave up everything I tried. Peer pressure or mother’s “your knees are too fragile” or “you are training too much”, “no this soccer club is not good thing for a girl” or “fighting? OMG no!”. Friends would just make a fac in the shape of a question mark, going “ehhh why?” when I was going to my combat classes. Here I am, started training with bunch of girls in a female soccer team when was in elementary school – lasted about a year. When summer came it was time to go to the soccer summer camp. My mom gave me a hug almost crying saying “how you my poor baby will be there without your mommy” (or so I remember it). I left the team. Some time later I joined figure skating where as far as I remember I trained for 3 years. It was fairly fun – skating fast and pretty, jumping in the air spinning! A lot of fun! The last thing I remember though is getting bored and quitting. Here is high school coming. I decided l loved fighting and joined combat class where I was the second out of two only girls – smashed my head falling and my dad never let me come back to the class. Gym happened to be very natural however it has never been actual gym but group classes. At the time I did not know better. It is hard to explain but I honestly thought girls do not use actual gym. I used to stand there watching guys approaching different weights and machine dreaming that one day I will also do it. I gotta say I was training a lot at a the time – 3 or 4 hours in those classes every single day while also being a vegetarian. Yep I was sick most of the time (giggling). Bottom line, ignorance wasn’t much of a bless… When I moved to Sydney I gave up any kind of fitness for about a year – went from 60kg to 75kg, got depressed (as you do when you are 23 and put a lot of weight on) and left to Moscow … to shake myself up, as I perceive it now 🙂 I spent 5 weeks in Moscow on holidays, fixing my health (had some issues) and my mental state by just being looked after and loved. On arrival back to Sydney I was sure I am strong mentally and physically and ready to try and concur my dream again. Whatever goes up must come down they say – I fell in love, it did not work out and I gave up on everything: fitness, friendship, live … pretty much (as you do when you are 25 – giggling). Although I kept giving up I still remembered the pleasant enjoyment of fitness and the whispering inside voice telling me to go and do something worth living for (apart from ultimate desires such as work, home, car etc). I got back to the gym, started trying out different programs, simply checking out what I am capable of and what I am interested in the most. I achieved certain certain goals, was very happy and realized that I no longer need to take back streets after the gym. I can now be actually proud of what I am doing. Although it took me almost 5 years I am finally here: I am free! I have not achieved my ultimate fitness goals just yet but I have achieved something most important: happiness and pride in what I am doing 🙂 No back streets anymore! (giggling) My story might sound a little sassy and not worth knowing because on the outside it is just a story but on the inside it was a very long and painful journey. EVERYONE has his / her own journey and they all are painful at some point. Some stories are more painful then others but you know what, pain is only what you feel therefore nothing is more painful than your OWN story whether it seems different to others. To sum up, I am very happy I had this opportunity to embrace the fitness without the fear of being judged for loving weights (although many Australians are still making fun of me for doing it, I do not really care anymore lol) or approaching mud races (with for example my boyfriend totally does not understand lol) or choosing to go swimming instead pubbing (and most people know how much I love to party lol) … Recently I have been talking to a girl in Moscow who is about to make her way to Australia. She has been asking me questions which are common in Russia but no longer valid in Australia (for me at least). It was an amazing metamorphose in my head when I thought that I am free from so many prejudges and issues partly (and it is a fairly large part) because I moved countries. I am aware of many people rejecting local culture or getting stuck within their own cultural community etc; but if you are out of it, you get to embrace a very different way of thinking which, of course will always be different but is able to free you from the slavery of Russian thinking. I would not move to a different country if I supported the Russian way … I might cherish and admire the culture but I refuse to be a part of it 🙂 Now when fitness is all of a sudden fun and good for you, I get to notice a lot of buff pricks. I do not want to be rude but I think I will have to. I haven noticed that some people as soon as they implement sport in their lives they are: a) ether angry because it is all too hard and they quite it or; b) become fitness propagandists just like religious people, walking around telling everyone how to live right. Neither of the above attracts me and made me think How Normal Do You Remain When Change… If I am counting my carbs and do not expect the rest of the world to do it. By the way I would just LOVE if the rest of the world stops telling me it is BAD to count carbs. It is the same if I was to tell the rest of the world that not counting them is bad. How about we go separate ways and stop telling each other what is right and wrong? I can go forever on this issue but I will stop here.
I think I will end my post here. I hope I did not offend anyone or did not come across as too bitchy (giggling). And if I did.. well tell is someone who cares 😀