A Woman’s Search For Everything: energy, health & colors

I remember times when I was SO exhausted I wanted to crawl under my bed and cry myself to death. This tiresomeness wasn’t a result of a hard work or a long day at work … well, party it was but mainly … I have no idea to be honest.I was so low in energy it hurt! Gross feeling! I am sure many people have faced it at some point in their lives. However how many people were searching for answers? And how were they you doing it?

Couple of my girl friends and I went to Sydney Opera House to listen to Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Play Love (which I cannot not to mention was followed by Drink Play Fuck which I just had to read so I did lol). Of course the book was converted into a movie and all women love it while all men hate it. It is just the way things are! I personally loved the book and liked the movie… I also found certain echos in my heart. Everyone at some point in their lives go through a shit break up or divorce or whatever and feel like going away from all that. Some of us even do it. Some of us even blog about it. And few of us write a book about it, earn millions of dollars and travel around the world giving talks 🙂

Personal blog - Elizabeth Gilbert in Sydney Opera House

Elizabeth Gilbert in Sydney Opera House, Jan 2013

Liz at the beginning of her journey also lost her energy, her passion and love towards live. Not that she was to commit suicide but she arrived at the point where everything was dull and grey. Many people often arrive at this point as well, some stay there for longer than others, some love being there and some end their lives not being able to brighten their world. Liz went travelling! I am still not sure why she thought it was going to be helpful (and maybe she didn’t know) but she decided to travel, interestingly, to Italy to learn Italian and eat heaps than to India to meditate and live in dirt and to Bali to carry on meditating and … apparently meet her new man. I am sure the actual journey was not as glamorous as it is seem to be in the readers minds. We, as readers, often glorify characters.

Something like a year ago I was tired, very tired I mean. Everything was dull and unhappy. I hated it badly especially because I lived in a constantly warm and sunny country. Am I meant to be happy all the time? And I was not but mainly due to this horrible tiredness. It is hard to put it in words since it was a feeling not a subject but I felt heavily sick as if I had cancer or just survived some awful surgery. I just felt exhausted! I have not figured out since what was the cause and I keep searching for the answer… I have been feeling great and on the pick of my strength lately till Friday…. All of a sudden very tired again! I made sure I slept well, I made sure I ate healthy and made sure I drank a lot of water… Yet I got this awful feeling of being very sick and very tired.

So I went on the Internet to browse ideas of what can cause sudden and absolutely massive tiredness. The Internet of course says: take multivitamins, sleep well, eat well, regularly exercise and all the rest. Another “remedy” was to go and see a doctor. I once had a really bad allergy and couldn’t even open my eyes because my eyelids were covering them. So I went to see a doctor (it was the 3rd one on that day already). He looked at me and asked “Does it hurt?” I answered almost crying “burning like hell” and he added “Well put some foundation on your face to cover that shit and you will be okay”. I think it is clear enough that I do not go to doctors in Australia and hopefully will never need to.

So here I am still looking for the answer. Some people say bananas is a great mood improvement because it is yellow and sugary … However it did not help me to fight fatigue. I typed in “fatigue treatment” and “chronic fatigue” (although I do not find my tiredness chronic) and the results were the following:

In order to avoid this awful tiredness you should:

  • Get enough sleep each night.
  • Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet and drink plenty of water throughout the day.
  • Exercise regularly.
  • Learn better ways to relax. Try yoga or meditation.
  • Maintain a reasonable work and personal schedule.
  • Change your stressors, if possible. For example, switch jobs, take a vacation, and deal with relationship problems.
  • Take a multivitamin. Talk to your doctor about what is best for you.
  • Avoid alcohol, nicotine, and drug use.

And so I realised that I am doing all of the mentioned and none of that improves the situation just yet. More Internet surfing took me to anti-depressants and sleeping pills sights as well as suicide association etc. And this is where I felt better: I got scared that I would ever be diagnosed with depression and felt lighter and more energetic instantly. Although I was not treated and of course still felt fairly tired I stopped wondering around looking for answers.

The bottom line, do not stop seeking. Some people loose the meaning of their lives, some hate their jobs and not sure what they want to do, others seeking love and keep failing, some overcoming awful disease … Whatever makes your life dull and grey, do not stop seeking. Go Italy and eat like a horse if you need to, migrate to other country nit having enough resources, learn diving or snowboarding .. TRY things! DO things! The main reasons for apathy, low energy levels and dull living are you voluntary stopping to live. There are better days and there are worse days. Be nice to yourself and take care of yourself on worse days instead of abusing or demanding to be better. Have fun and stay fit on your best days, concur the world if you feel like it 🙂

P.S. as a writer I found a lot of the Elizabeth Gilbert’s talk yesterday very helpful, and will try to follow some guidelines 🙂

STAY BALANCED!

Anna on the swings of happiness

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