Inspired by one of my inspirational mates, I decided to whinge today! I think it is good to let it out of the system especially if you are not a psychotherapist’s client [giggling] which , in fact,I think is the best whinging “juice” receiver. Anyway I am going to complain about something I am passionate about of course, otherwise what’s the point.
How It All Started?
Couple of years ago I discovered Jamie which has some awesome gym routine designed for us, the mortals [aka not competing ladies as well] and the rest of the world. I loved her gym plan and followed it for about 10 weeks (it is a 12 week plan) some time over a year ago (first time). Now when I am trying to get back there it is not any easier… When I was first trying it out I lived alone, I did not work, I used to spend most of my time at home… Sounds depressing and so it was but I had so much free time on my hands I could spend all day lifting iron which I did … literally 🙂 Let me please mention that I just hate having so much free time and love being busy [due to the “old school” issues I believe which I will talk about some other time]. I think I get thrills when run around crazy like a bee doing stuff. On other hand I get really stressed and tired and stop following the fitness routine.
Note, I am NOT one of those crazy gym junkies or fitness freaks but I physically and mentally enjoy weights and I just cannot not to do it no matter what the rest of the world thinks of it 🙂 At the same time, I am often so distrusted by … life, I guess I do not focus on fitness as much as I used to. As a result I keep starting, giving up and going back to same work again and again and again. Here it comes! Please welcome – my whinging! 🙂
Toughen Up, Precious!
I know I know I know there are like hundred of busy mothers with 2 or 3 jobs still sticking to their routine and even competing. Good for them! I am honestly impressed, inspired and take my hat of in front of them. I am very glad I do not have kids and so many jobs; but maintaining life I want in a different country sometimes is a little more challenging than it might seems. And I am not saying that I cannot adapt or struggle with foreign language much … also since I discovered that I am in fact an introvert I do not give much sh*t about making friends or trying to fit (as I think I mentioned earlier). However living in a different [from what I am used to] world [country] does stuffs your mind up a little which makes easy things a little harder, for me at least. I am kinda used to the fact that I am never going to fit in one group in particular but rather spread my attention between couple of different cults. And I think it is even more fun 🙂 The bottom line, while I was running all over Sydney sorting my life out; the compulsive obsessive craving to lift has just left me. The “betrayer” of such sort often lasts for couple of days till I am back on my feet, running to the gym.
Some of my friends mentioned several times that I gotta go and study PT or something to do with nutrition; and devote my life to fitness if I like it so much. But I DON”T! 🙂 I know it sound contradicting… Well, I have seriously considered to take up fitness career as a part-time-hobby-slash-work-thing but when I actually thinking about it I do not feel the butterflies, if you know what I mean. I do not feel the obsession going through my head! However I do get all the above when I go to the gym or compose my new gym plan … I like doing it but I am not devoting my life to it.
Now, although I am saying here I love doing it [fitness related things lol] and blah blah blah, I do not devote enough time therefore keep failing in meeting my goals; and this is where I am going to draw a sad face 😦 I engage with like-minded communities, I get new gym clothes [well, this is the only shopping I tolerate so I am going to carry on with it lol], I spend my entire free time reading and writing about fitness [apart from those days when I prefer to invest this free time into a little bit of pubbing lol], I spam my social media means with pictures I like and all the rest fun stuff that every other fitness junkie would get involved with. And I still get tired either psychically or mentally and STOP … everything, really [I think this is a sad face time again lol]. What really annoys me is that I am easily knocked off the track and getting back is always harder than maintaining. Thus, my whinging point is … toughen bloody up and carry on, man! Easy to say… Harder to do?
Eat Pray Love … mostly Eat.
Now my other whinging is going to sound really odd. I am very interested in food and nutrition. I just love learning about what’s in this piece of food, what’s in that etc etc etc BUT I absolutely hate cooking and cannot stand reading or learning recipes… And this is a big f**k up for anyone who want to change their life style, looks and health. Food is so bloody important it is not funny! I have been writing plans, counting calories and learning about different foods for years now and I rarely cook something worth eating [giggling].
I DO think food is fuel and taste is not that much of an importance but as everyone has issues I also possess couple of them and, as I think we all know, food is often a comforting and loving ritual. Eating [aka placing something in your mouth and swallowing – I thin Freud is talking about it especially explicit, covering it in detail] is something which often makes us hApPy; and I am not an exemption and sometimes fall into this pleasure trap 🙂 Knowing it though helps to manage eating but does not eliminate unhealthy binge food swallowing.
I absolutely adore muscly physic [especially when it comes to women rather than men]. I do not like curvy ladies everyone are talking about and I am less attracted to little precious girls [although would say better be a hanger than a curvy woman, in my reality lol]. BUT let me say healthy does not mean to be muscly or skinny or curvy… Any of them can be healthy or unhealthy maintaining whatever look they have. So do not get me wrong, I am not promoting skinny chicks or female bodybuilders or whatever. We all find different things attractive and I do not want to offend anyone’s taste. All I want to say that whether it is weird or not but I love wide shoulders, small bums, large arms and strong legs & back rather than … let’s say “normal” looking body! And I know what has to be done to look like that. I also know very well what has to be done to be extra skinny or ultra curvy… However while I am carrying the knowledge I get irritated that I do not use it properly and therefore as mentioned earlier keep giving up and starting again my diet and training routine. I really want to at least last a year! I finally want to simply last and tell myself “yep we did it. Good job, Anna” 🙂 This is my whinging for the day and the ultimate goal [within the hobby].
Do not even let me started on the rest of the aspects of my life – I won’t get any sleep for like a week if I carry on tonight. Enough of whinging, I hate it anyway. It feels good though, doesn’t it [many smile faces].
To be continued…