Breaking Mad: Anna’s Talking About Beauty

This is totally out of ordinary for me but I decided to take couple of minutes off my work today and talk about BEAUTY. I have been thinking a lot recently about how beauty is one of the items people worship along side with wealth, fame and power. I have never thought of myself as an owner of this highly desired thing but I guess I can give myself an “average” 🙂

When I lived in Russia, looks was everything (well, almost everything) in my peer group (sad, I know). I had my nails done every Sunday (it was a 3 hour job by the way), I had appointment booked every week in my local solarium, I was running all over my home with eggs in my hair and green dirt on my face … my mom was doing it all with me. I think it is GREAT when you look after yourself and I think it is AWESOME when you look GREAT. However I find it a little over the top when it becomes your God.

On other hand, my obsession with hair and nails switched to exercising and I keep wondering if this is in fact the same… While I am wondering about it, I noticed that I stopped carrying about my hair and nails as much. As a result, my hair is a nest now! AWFULLY gross hair, I must say 🙂 Well, thanks to 10 years of dying, cutting and devil knows what else doing to it. So, I was thinking, isn’t it the time to maybe start caring for it a little bit more?!

Australians love their coconuts! And I am not talking about girls’ bikini’s (giggling quietly). I mean actual oil made of coconut. Many claim it is good for your Face, Hair, Skin and Nails. Is it?

Breaking Mad: Anna's Talking About Beauty funny meme

So, I got this commercialised bottle of coconut oil, rubbed it into my hair and sat down working (good I was working at home hey lol) waiting for the miracle to happen. You are not going to believe it, apparently I forgot to put eggs in my magical spell. It is going to sound double weird but yep I watched these ridiculous beauty videos on YouTube the other day while soaking my head in the oil. There we go, I said it! And I am not embarrassed (Okay, I AM lol) to admit it 🙂 I only did so to research. I promise I won’t do it again 🙂

Anyw-WHO, these babrie alike ladies were talking about mixing organic (we don’t want hipsters to get upset, right) coconut oil with eggs and thoroughly rubbing it in your scalp and ends. Moreover, the girls divided into two camps – the ones who rub it in their scalps and those who don’t.

I felt that watching wasn’t enough, so I went on reading, So, I found out that coconut is dead set remedy for everything (giggling, again). Several things I found especially fascinating were:

  • Coconut oil contains short term medium-chain saturated fatty acids (MCFAs), which is a “healthy” form saturated fat compared to trans fat. It also contributes to its magical powers of boosting your immune system.
  • Coconut oil control weight.
  • It sorts your digestions out.
  • A recent study by the Garvan Institute of Medical Research found that coconut oil protects against insulin resistance, reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes.
  • And they claim it is easy and good for your health to cook with it.

So, here I am doing it all wrong! This list makes me wanna run to the shop, buy a jar of this oil and shuffle table spoons of it in my mouth. However this is not what I am all about here today. I was putting it in my hair, remember, not eating it? I must say I don’t mind to spoon a fresh coconut out. By the way, it is also believed to control our sugar cravings which sounds cool; however I usually suffer from salt craving, not sugar 🙂

So back to my hair. I am putting coconut oil into my zero-signs-of-life-ends trying to revive them so at least I don’t look like I shuffle cocaine in my mouth (or have some other really bad diet lol). Is it worth it?

Breaking Mad: Anna's Talking About Beauty finding hair treatments

So here I am holding my, as they claim on their products, Organic Coconut Milk extract thingie. Sounds awesome. Now, I researched that coconut oil often contains a lot of water that is why it feels like it moisturizes skin and hair; however as soon as water evaporates, the soft feeling of being moist also vanishes. AT THE SAME TIME, and a quote “..coconut oil provides deep and real moisture. It helps strengthen underlying tissues and helps remove excessive dead cell on the skin’s surface that makes your skin rough and flaky in texture. It also great for shine and as a natural moisturizer for your hair”. Well, neither it is absolutely amazing nor disapproving. However I went through several beauty blogs (what a drag, I know LOL) where ladies claim that the oil stimulates hair growth. Fair enough!

To test that I turned my coconut oil bottle around and read the ingredients label (this was hard to type so I assume will be hard to read): cylomethicone (is a silicone fluid commonly used in cosmetics such as deodorants, sunblocks, hair sprays and skin care products. ), cyclopentasiloxane (same really), C-12-15 alkyl benzoate (used as an emollient and thickening agent in cosmetics), silk amino acids (also known as Sericin is a natural water-soluble glycoprotein extracted from raw silk), butyrospermum (yeah I also went “eeewwwwuuuu really?” but it is commonly known as shea tree), shea butter,  cocosnucifera extract (coconut milk). same oil, albumen (egg white protein), tocopheryl acetat (vitamin E) and parfum.

Breaking Mad: Anna's Talking About Beauty doctor's meme

On the side note, cyclopentasiloxane’s full scientific name is decamethylcyclopentasiloxane. Seriously? I can imagine doctors having a conversation something like: “hey, did you add decamethylcyclopentasiloxane?” and other one goes “WAAAAHT?” (laughing rolling on the floor).

Okay, laughs aside! Even my $19, 118ml bottle of commercialised coconut oil consists of actual oil and EGGS. Getting back to the beginning of my story, where I mentioned eggs. As I written earlier “precious Anna” use to run around home with some eggs in her head – mom’s hair treatment remedy. Well, seems like it is working today too! BUT none of the above has been proven to stimulate hair growth, sorry ladies. It is believed though that a good blood flow (aka please exercise, regularly, ladies), a good diet and some electrical therapy (not sure about that one lol) stimulate hair growth, not oiled up scalp 🙂

To make it even worse, hair is approximately 91 percent protein, and is made up of long chains of amino acids. These chains are found within the fibers of the cortex of the hair. The amino acids of these chains are made up of the elements carbon, oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, and sulfur (are also the building blocks of the skin and nails). None of the above (apart from bloody eggs) was found in my coconut oil bottle.

Meanwhile, my un-revivable hair really need some moist so I guess I will get back to work now with a bucket of coconut oil mixed with eggs on my head.


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